How to Start Dating Again: The Very First Steps

You have just broken up or divorced the man you thought you would be with forever. You are crushed, sad, and devastated, but ready to move on to a full, wonderful life without him. How to start dating again? Believe me; it’s not as hard as you think!

You are a vibrant, sexy woman. Well maybe not so vibrant and sexy now that heartbreak has come your way, but those qualities can easily be unearthed girl! The first thing you must do is love yourself. I know this might sound hokey and all “woo-woo” crazy, but it works. Why? Because who is going to love you and adore you if you don’t love and adore yourself? The answer is no one. You’ll attract the type of men who you really don’t want! The men who treat you badly, who use you, who will take advantage of your heart’s vulnerability.

This is why you will make a list. This list will name 10 things you like about yourself. You have nice hair. You are nice to little old ladies. You give to charity. Your thighs are thick and beautiful. You are smart. You have pretty toes. Whatever it is, write it down. This step is the first (and most important!) answer to how to start dating again. After you list 10, list 10 more. Then 10 more. Once you begin, you will find how wonderful you think you really are!

The next step is to set an intention that you are ready to date. I know you’re thinking, “I wouldn’t be reading this if I wasn’t ready to date again!” By setting the intention, essentially declaring to yourself and others that you are ready to get back out there, solidifies your commitment and desire to get back out there in the dating world.

When determining how to start dating again, you must also determine what you want. Are you looking for a person to go to the movies with every now and then? Dating to find a wonderful sexual partner? Dating to find a life-long companion? Are you dating to find a man to marry and have children with? Be honest with yourself. Why are you dating and what do you want to come out of it?

The last of the first tips to how to start dating again is what kind of guy you want to date. Since you have determined why you are dating, it is imperative to follow that up with a man that will fit. If you’re dating because you would like to get re-married, it’s kind of important to date a man that’s not already married! If you are looking for a casual dating experience, the man you will date will not be looking for someone to get married in 6 months and birth his 5 kids. If you’re looking for a life partner, it’s probably that you don’t actively date super religious men when you’re a devout atheist.

Navigating the waters of how to start dating again doesn’t have to be a bumpy voyage. Follow these tips and be sure to check the follow up articles on how to start dating again to ensure a happy and healthy dating life!

Having trouble in your dating life after divorce? Don’t know what you’re doing wrong? Want to be attractive to men? My new book: “From Ex to Next! An Empowered Women’s Guide to Dating after Breakup or Divorce” will help you discover all this and more at

Kim Hess is a dating after divorce expert, author, radio show host, and divorce columnist. Get great, free advice about divorce and dating at her website

Article Source: